For the past two weeks, we've all tirelessly packed with a heavy focus on moving Ezekiel. Today was the day of his move up North. He was excited and full of anxiety at the same time. I wish I could say he managed well, but he almost didn't make the move. No matter how hard he tried, he ended up in a panic attack every time he set out to help pack.
He's still working on regulating emotions when the routine changes. CBD (internally) and Frankincense under his nose helped tremendously, but only in stopping the anxiety, not in moving him actually to pack up his stuff.
So, we did it for him.
Twenty years ago, that would have irritated me. "What the heck is freaking you out about moving?!" I would have scoffed and asked him. He wouldn't have been able to answer me, but I would have felt better letting him know I thought his emotions were ridiculous.
Ug. I shudder at how I used to treat him.
The fact is, most autistic kids/adults aren't capable of handling change with what we would call "a normal response." They rely on the familiar and depend on consistency to stay alive and, at minimum, survive.
Thankfully, I've grown. This time, I was elated that Ezekiel was willing to move and try something new instead of digging his feet and refusing to budge. This is massive progress for Ezekiel. I was honored to do his thinking, packing, and organizing. So were his sisters and Daddy. It was fun, and Zeke was a grateful recipient.
He was happy to help with the heavy hauling, which didn't seem to make him panic.
We loaded the trailer last night and headed North as the sun rose this morning. As long as he read a book on his phone, Zeke was fine, but when he put his phone down to see what was going on, he began having anxiety again. I could tell he needed blinders on, kind of like the ones you put on horses when you're walking them on the road so a car doesn't spook them. I looked for opportunities to distract him, and the truck drivers helped out quite a bit today, lol.
As soon as we arrived at his apartment, Ezekiel excitedly worked to empty the van and trailer into his new home. But as soon as we started unpacking the boxes, he panicked, wondering where everything should go.
He began to notice how different things looked, and the lack of familiarity made decision-making difficult. So, I encouraged him to sit and read as much as possible. The result was a happy, relaxed son and an unpacked, organized apartment.
The bookshelves had to go up first and quickly. Zeke loves to read, and I knew a wall of books would help ease his mind. It worked.
He has no idea where anything is, but his new home is filled with familiar and comfortable belongings. I know he'll call me for the next week and a half to ask where something is. But the difference is it will be on his timing and one item at a time. He's happy, and that makes my heart very happy.
Towards the end of unpacking, while he was tinkering with his new computer desk, I asked him a few questions about some of the food items he'd like to fill his pantry and freezer with while looking at Costco items on my Instacart app.
"They have frozen organic bean and cheese burritos. Would you like those for a day you need a quick meal?"
"Sure."
I asked him similar questions about every organic frozen meal and canned food on the app. The price tag was about what I spend when I feed 10 for a week, but I figured it was because he was just getting started. I hit "purchase," and the delivery driver showed up two hours later.
Zeke ran down the stairs to help him carry the groceries. He plopped down the first box, and while still holding on to the handles, he stared at me intensely. He said nothing; he just stared at me without blinking.
"What?" I asked.
Without answering, he let go of the box and ran back down the stairs to grab another box. This went on for several more trips. Up and down both men went, each time carrying up another stuffed box of Costco food. Finally, the front door closed, and he accused, "Mom! What did you do?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You'll see." He laughed and went back to building his desk. I grabbed the first box to unpack.
Oh boy… It hit me.
I purchased food for a family of ten for easily 2-3 weeks. He doesn't have a 15-cubic-foot freezer like we do back home, and his apartment doesn't have a pantry. In the first box alone, there were four large boxes of bean and cheese burritos, four large boxes of bean and chicken taquitos, and cases of black beans, pinto beans, and refried beans. 🤦♀️
Being a young adult male, the bean jokes started rolling in. Within seconds, all of us roared with laughter. Tears were streaming down my face. His apartment is now overflowing with many varieties of beans and more food than anyone could finish before the new year.
When ordering, I focused on items with a shelf life, such as beans, peanut butter, rice, etc.
Nailed it.
Party at Zeke's apartment from now until the end of time.
Meanwhile, his refrigerator needs help. I neglected to buy many fresh items. I'll try again next time we visit. For now, he won't starve and won't need a heater to stay warm.
Abby stopped by between classes to help her big brother move in. They are already plotting the fun they'll have together. I believe first on the list is a Lord of the Rings marathon.
So, how does a person accustomed to cooking for a large family shop for one person? I may never figure this out, but my kiddo won't go hungry.
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